Just a few things I read this a couple of days ago about reactive/proactive:
"Our behaviour is a function of our decisions, not our conditions". If we choose to blame others for our conditions, we become reactive.
"Proactive people are driven by values - carefully thought about, selected and internationalised values" while "Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment".
Reactive language:
* There's nothing I can do.
* That's just the way I am.
* He makes me so mad.
* They won't allow that.
* I have to do that.
* I can't.
* I must.
* If only.
Proactive language:
* Let's look at our alternatives.
* I can choose a different approach.
* I control my own feelings.
* I can create an effective presentation.
* I will choose an appropriate response.
* I choose.
* I prefer.
* I will.